Detox Journal

3:18pm March 10

I used again this morning before going to the outpatient center. I didn’t go in. My son did. I’m so embarrassed and my pride is getting in the way. At least my son is getting the help he needs. I stopped going to my groups and stopped my MAT program. I was trying to help my son and I wasn’t putting myself and my Recovery first. I thought I was strong enough. I have to put myself first and take care of me because if I don’t then I’m no good to anyone. This is proof of that rule.

11:11pm March 10

I am about to go to sleep. I am out of drugs and refuse to buy anymore. I have my Suboxone but I have to wait until the opiates are lit of my system to start taking it or I’ll go into precipitated withdrawals. This page is a journal and a way for me to remember how I feel during my withdrawals. It’s not something that’s easy to remember clearly. When I am back to myself I want to have notes to look back on so I can write about it in a way that helps the most. That’s my plan. Maybe it’s a crazy drug induced idea that I will look back and shake my head at. My intentions are pure though. I just want to help as many people as possible. I have to be relatable to people who are in this state of mind. It’s easy to forget how hard it is once you are sober. It’s been a few hours since my last shot. My back is hurting mildly. Let’s hope the hypnosis takes me through the night with no severe withdrawals. I will document the ones I listen to and let u know if they work. Goodnight. Good vibes.

12:45pm March 11

I just had a small amount brought to me. Just enough to get through the day without being sick. I have to do my job. I can’t do it while withdrawing. I will post the hypnosis I used to sleep last night. It worked very well. I slept through the night and woke up at 9am feeling ok. I’ll post more details later today about which hypnosis I used and update my withdrawal and introduction to Suboxone.

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