Dear Diary,

It’s me again. I’m so disappointed in myself. I can’t believe I’m here, in active addiction,….again. Will I make it out of this one? Yes. I’m stronger than my dark passenger. I will break these chains once again. I know my worth. You can’t shame me. I may be a member of an anonymous group but I will recover out loud once again.

It’s 2:44 am and I’m still scrolling through my phone. My thoughts are a jumbled mess of everything and nothing at the same time. The later I stay up the more anxious I get. I tell myself I need to go to sleep. I have work in 8 hours. Oops now 5 hours, and now 3. I have to get up in 3 hours to work overtime hours. I’ll find myself dozing on the way home. Ready for a shower and bed because I am sleep deprived. I go through the motions of my daily routine. Get high, feel guilty for getting high. Worry over money I spent on getting high. Spend more money on drugs. Time to disassociate from reality.