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My name is “Lanie” and I’m an addict. I relapsed a few months ago. This is me clawing my way back.

My Latest Posts


  • Detox Journal
    3:18pm March 10 I used again this morning before going to the outpatient center. I didn’t go in. My son did. I’m so embarrassed and my pride is getting in the way. At least my son is getting the help he needs. I stopped going to my groups and stopped my MAT program. I was trying to helpContinue reading “Detox Journal”
  • 3:17 am. I still haven’t put down the phone.
    Please don’t hesitate to contact me with anything you feel is weighing you down. I am a good listener and hearing from someone who understands my crazy post without assuming I’m scum would be a great relief. Those who think that would be surprised by my appearance. We are all connected.
  • 2:53 am
    It’s been 3 hours now. Morning is coming and the voice telling me to get high again today is getting stronger and louder. I need rest. My thoughts are all over the place. I’m going to listen to a self hypnosis sleep meditation on YouTube. Thanks for listening. Goodnight. I hope.
  • This Video hits home
  • Arose by Eminem
    youtube.com/watch
  • (no title)
    youtube.com/watch
  • OVER-MEDITATION AND SPIRITUAL CRISIS
    Photo credit: Pixabay “The path to self realisation is thinner than the breadth of a hair and sharper than a razor’s edge.” One can attain this … OVER-MEDITATION AND SPIRITUAL CRISIS

Ask for help. That’s all